shopping vs. change
The reason people want to change is often connected to fulfill one or several basic human needs. What these needs are is widely discussed in developmental psychology. A very comprehensive approach is by Tony Robbins who summarizes them as 6 basic human needs:
- certainty and comfort
- uncertainty and variety
- significance
- love and connection
- growth
- contribution
Once upon a time, there were people who - when they wanted to change - looked inward to achieve that change. They looked at their habits, their being. They changed themselves. Today, when we want to change, we can either look inward, or we can look outward. For example: if we want to feel loved, the ‘old fashioned way’ is to approach people, spend time with them, listen to them, be there for them, or some might argue to love yourself. The ‘new way’ has it, that if you drink a certain beer you will spend time with your friends on the beach, be happy and loved. Another example: if you want to grow, the ‘old fashioned way’ is to learn something new and to expand yourself out of your comfort zone. The ‘new way’ has it, that you buy a MacBook and you will grow no matter what. Today, we can easily find ourselves distracted by all the outer options that promise us quick and easy change. Shopping became the promise to fulfill our human needs. Many of us have by now figured out that this isn’t the truth. Nonetheless, it’s so easy to fall into the trap and to hold on to the idea that it is as easy as Heineken promised. Pop a beer and friends will appear, love will flow, if you buy another one. *Photo by Drew Farwell on Unsplash